my dearest gioia,
it’s snowing! or well, it’s been snowing! for the last two days, winter has been showing itself from its loveliest side – with snow. and i couldn’t be happier about those snowflakes finally making the journey all the way down to where i am. them big ol’ fat soft flakes and tiny wild ones and small ones that make it look like the ground is covered in dippin’ dots (imagine that!). snow makes everything a bit more magical, am i right?
and magic definitely couldn’t hurt after this past week. it’s been one of the most exhausting weeks i’ve ever lived through. on monday, i didn’t think i’d survive it. when, after the most frustrating day at uni, i finally left to go home and discovered that my bicycle saddle had been stolen, there were actual tears. and just like in the movies, where there are tears, there is rain. it was only after i had bought two kilograms of blood oranges and arrived at home that things started feeling bearable again.
it was, bearable. i guess. five days felt more like five months, but after four more days at uni, with a lot more coffee and cookies (our newest discovery at toni: vegan cookies from the bistro. yum!) than usual, we made it. never have i wanted friday to arrive more desperately. it did, though, and with it, two more days of work, counting the entire stock at the shop. but somehow, not even the fact of having to work on saturday and sunday sounded that bad anymore. things got put into perspective this week.
by far the highlight was meeting you in basel, and you reading to me. and the fact that we had stopped reading at the exact same spot prior to our meeting without talking about it (is it surprising, though?). i’m still enjoying the book immensely. maybe it was the felt hopefulness of this week that made me feel especially melodramatic, but i was really drawn to both eddie and cora’s moments of forlornness. when cora describes sitting in the dark, waiting desperately for the (supposedly) night-blooming cactus to bloom: “There was nothing but sticks before me.”, it might just have been the most accurate description of what it feels to be let down by your own hopes.
there were some sad moments during this week’s read, darkness that had previously been hinted at that is now slowly being unveiled. the professor’s past (and present and future, i’m guessing) for one.
and yet, i have the feeling the real story hasn’t started. sure, there’s eddie’s search for hannah, his encounter with her sister and the assault by harry’s whatever he is. nevertheless, i have the feeling more should have already happened by this point, us already having reached the middle of the book. nothing to do but read on and see, i guess.
i miss you.