letter two to rahel: clouds and sky gardens.

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dearest rahel who is ever so busy with people who aren’t me. grr.


as of sunday evening i’m back in london, having had to take a gazillion tubes and busses to get home, seeing as somehow all of the tubes i needed weren’t running. classic. but yes. i’m back. back in my lonely cold flat, back in the country you’re not. i’m not doing great. i’m not. not that that’s anything new, really. the past couple of days, however, have been a bit of a low even by my standards, though. the heart is a fickle thing. and a vulnerable one. but that’s how it goes. maybe i should talk about the good things.

it snowed the day i was returning to london. we had a little farewell brunch at ours and suddenly a look out the window confirmed that they had indeed come for my soul’s rescue; those little white icy flakes i had longed for ever so much and wanted to see at least once before i left the switzerlands. and it did snow. that was great. i also discovered one of my new favourite places in london and maybe ever anywhere else: sky garden. it’s also where i took the museum of extraordinary things to read yesterday. basically, it’s an indoor garden on the 35th floor of a skyscraper in central london, overlooking the thames and the city oh so far below. what a beautiful, beautiful place. they have a terrace, too, and even a restaurant, would you believe it. they actually serve breakfast. brunch-date next time you come over, you and i? what do you think?

the book. it’s a great book. no doubt about that. and the writing is just oh so beautiful. the line

it’s not about finding something. it’s about understanding what you’ve found.

especially struck a chord with me this week. or maybe in general. but as you said last week, there was a bit of a feeling of “when is this storyline truly going to take off?”. in this chapter, we had a seminal moment: the meeting of our two main characters, coralie and eddie. i love cheesy romance à la sparks as much as the next miserable single girl, but their meeting was a bit much for me. i don’t know if it’s the fact that i’m just turning into a bitter old catlady (i had written “catwoman” first. that wouldn’t even be half bad) without cats, but even for a fictional novel it was just too unrealistic, too “oh my god, i have just laid my eyes upon this girl and i know i love her”. it literally says that. eddie sees coralie and by some wondrous wizardry falls “in love with her in that instant”. maybe that’s just my personal experience, but i don’t find that that’s how love works. am i overanalysing because this is “just” a book, “just” a story. maybe, yes. and part of me still wants to believe that things like that are possibly. love at first sight. soulmates. everlasting love. all the things fairytales tell us are waiting for all of us, if we just behave like the modest and fair maidens we are, ready to be swept off of our feet by prince charming who is riding past on his white horse, and to spend an everlasting “happily ever after” just frolicking through the palace with the love of our lives. but i don’t think that’s true. love is messy. love hurts. love is a challenge. love isn’t just “oh, this person has nice freckles, i bet we’ll get married and have fourteen kids” or “hey, that guy just sent me a really cute message on tinder, he probably wants to spend the rest of his life with me”. i mean, maybe i’ve got this all wrong. i don’t think love necessarily has to be everlasting. it’s ok to love many times throughout our lives; in fact, most people do. nothing wrong with that. but i’m a bit tired of what stories like that tell us love should be, resulting in whenever that isn’t what we feel, that instant head-over-heels-sensation, that we don’t think it’s love. or it can’t become love. love takes time and work and effort, and yes, whilst sometimes it doesn’t (lucky bastards), we should be ready to invest in order to get our own happily ever afters. i’m so not talking about the book anymore, am i? gosh, i didn’t even plan on going out on such a limb. oh well. sometimes things need to be let out.

i still love reading this book and am more than curious to see where it takes us in the chapters to come. probably some drama why our star crossed lovers can’t be together (presumably through the professor’s doing) and then, finally, the resolution and a happy ending. oddly enough, despite being irrationally jealous of those fictional characters, i do wish them well and will probably send a lengthy letter of complaint to alice hoffman if they don’t end up together.


anyway. i need to head off. i’m going on a little tour des musées with paulina and a couch surfer called dan who is currently, well, surfing on my couch. not literally, sadly. that’d be great. i hope all is well with you and i look forward to reading from you soon. very soon, pretty please.


yours eternally,



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reading above the clouds


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i mean, how pretty is that?!


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